So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
