I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
