it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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