She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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