I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize