Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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