I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
