Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
