i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
