Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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