It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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