dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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