The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
