So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
