Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
