i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
