btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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