i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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