This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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