Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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