hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
