AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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