And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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