I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I did not marry a roomba.
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