So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
is that a dick in a sweater?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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