even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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