I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
