i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
