That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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