wanna go halves on a baby?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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