We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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