But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
