Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
