their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
