where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
