Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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