so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
