I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize