I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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