She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
