I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
