A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
