Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
