I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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