3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
