I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
