the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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