Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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