I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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