I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
