and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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