At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
