You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
