They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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