He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
