This is not my ceiling
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
