Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize