Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
