no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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