For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
